The crazy true words in your head, oh yea songs! (11/26/10)

So...It's been a while since i've written anything worthwhile...

I mean with all these crazy thoughts running around in my head, and all this madness swirling around me,

you would think i'd be all over Facebook Notes, Blogger, and my notebook.

but it appears that I have shut down, once again.

Lately I've been listening to Mayday Parade and Meese alooooot.

Some of my fav lyrics?

"get up, get up, sing it like your screamin at me, get up get up, i love the way you make it look so easy.." Get Up- MP

"we tried to fight for what we thought that we believed in, maybe it was all for nothing (i bet that it was all for nothing), ...innocence is falling, can you hear them calling now? We tried to fight, i guess sometimes you find its pointless as long as you can live with yourself (tell me how you live with yourself)" The End-MP

just...most of MP's songs..haha

then..

The Start of It- Meese

"The snow has never looked like this, the city never seems to rest, shes off to start a war, is this worth fighting for?" Taking The World On-Meese

and Break Out-Meese

but I mean, If it's all about the song in your head, and of course theres always a mash-up (GLEE!!!) of several songs in my head, then why am I so angry?

I mean sure life sucks, but it's also great.

theres such a fine line there...

My friend asked me.

What do you want?

I was very angry at the time so i replied

"I want to scream at the top of my lungs until the sky crumbles and the earth shakes. i want to make them hurt and bleed like i do. I want to run away and never look back. I want to die yet live forever. but most of all? I want to matter, and to fucking believe it when I do."

There was more then that but..what are ya gonna do? I don't remember all of it.

That friend knows me pretty well...i suppose thats what happens when your around such and "angry" person so often..

But how many people can sit near a fire, and still be freezing cold?

Or go to the arctic and still be burning?

How do liars and murderers live with themselves?

The questions of the world that will never be answered..

there are enough to fill a book as large as the earth, and probably more.

How can you sit in front of someone,

rage dripping from your every pore,

your ears and nostrils steaming,

and your mouth breathing fire.

yet they don't notice?

WHO IS THAT DENSE?

the people that are in denial.

The people that started out good and clean just like every baby, but somewhere along the way something happened, and now look. They are neglectful.

Yup, I went there.

I mean come on, did you really think this would be any different?

did you really think i wouldn't start ranting at some point?

Its what i do. deal with it.

But really.

Where was i? oh right, anger.

I mean how can you sit there and be screaming in someones ear, then you open your eyes and discover you've been biting your tounge so hard you can't feel it anymore?

There are some people in this world that lie through their teeth so much its a wonder they even have any left.

but what would be better?

lying, of just not saying anything at all?

The strangest things make people sad.

a song, a flower, just a simple everyday thing.

honestly, when did we get that bad?

What magical force brings people to tears so often?

and why is it so incredibly wrong to not cry???

I mean, I could go on forever but you've probably lost interest by now, eh?

Just think about Death, there are so many endless questions to go with Death. Go find someone interesting, or a good friend, or both and just discuss death.Is it alive? Can it die? what exactly is it?

kills alot of time.

So, if your still paying attention by now, i'll leave you all with this.

Nothing matters, honestly. It does, but it doesn't if you know what i mean.

Turn your head and look at thing from a different perspective every once in a while,

go find a new band and get one (or more) of their songs stuck in your head, try something new, and god forbid you come out of your turtle shell. Its all what you make it, so be yourself. MAke it what you want it to be. and try to not roll your eyes so much they fall out of your head (ouch) because we all know no one listens to this inspirational crap and those who do (coughcough) would never admit it, so just make of it what you will. I do however, ask one thing. Try not to judge to terribly much, you never know.

Take You Over (10/24/10)

Emotions are contagious,

stress is outrageous,

yet both fill our lives,

with things that make us cuss,

and sometimes even wish we could spontaneously combust.

we pine and lust,

for pretty things we consider a "must"

we cry and trust,

things that quickly rust,

there is more then meets the eye,

when going for a ride,

there is more to the story,

then the reader is willing to hear.

but if we fall,

and dare we break,

let ourselves go to give and take,

then we shall reach and see the end,

where on the edge we might break and bend,

consider your life,

for what its worth,

see your birth,

and protect your turf,

even which in doing so,

you fall into the abyss of confusion,

pull yourself out with the strength of fusion,

stand your ground,

meet fire with fire,

and let the world take you over.

Lost Sorrow at a Cemetary (7/20/10)

Open your eyes and what do you see?

A frozen wasteland,

painted a glassy sea-foam green.

Forgotten is the sorrow,

that the weeping left behind,

forgotten is the lonely souls of our kind.

Walk around, section 7d,

white headstones glare at me.

burried deep and long ago,

mist sweeps the gound,

calling to me.

What happens to the sorrow here,

the sorrow that I have found?

When every thing is said and done,

where does it go?

To rot 6 feet underground,

to infect the visitors that come,

to and fro?

Is it left behind,

eventually forgotten?

maybe never to be found,

had we not marked a path,

carved a day in stone icing.

close your eyes,

breath in deep,

listen to the sorrow,

leaking,

pouring,

gushing,

from the forgotten souls,

Aching to be remebered.

that so long ago,

where burried deep alive,

up here in time,

open your eyes and what do you see?

Come run away with me,

to the circle of sorrow in the frozen wasteland,

painted sea-foam green,

where all is forgotten,

but you and me.

Walking around a cemetary in Denver I started to wonder. Who was left to be sad for the child that died in 1888? who was left to be sad for the man that died in 1905? the people that died, long ago. where even those who were sad for them, have long since died aswell? In my theory there is just this circle of sorrow that goes along with the circle of life. someone dies, and someone is sad for them. when that person dies, someone else is there to take on the sorrow and feel the weight of it. Is there just an endless cirlce of sorrow? or are these people eventually forgotten, even by those who swore they never would? how many people that swore they'd never forget me, would a year or two after I died? Does everything just lie there, unkempt and unwept for once the family line dies off? The Cemetary got my mind spinning, I have relatives there that i didn't know exsisted. But I couldn't feel sad for them, because i'd never known them. to me they were just skeletons in the ground that i would've liked to know, but never got the chance. So who is left to feel sad for the people that they never got know? Who is left to take on that burden, that sorrow for the people that died so long ago, that no one knew? My question simply is, Where does the sorrow go, once it dies off?