Untitled (6/11/11 9:40 pm)

I lost myself again,
trying to dig my way out with this pen.
I strung myself up high,
and tried to breath in the sky.
Watching as life faded away,
I think I forgot to cry.
Screaming from the outside in,
burying blades in my skin,
I floated down my red river,
Without so much as a quiver.
The pain I felt numbed my world,
all I could do was hurl.
Listening to the silent noise,
wondering why all simple joys,
are treated like toys?
I smelt your fear,
And though I couldn't bring myself to shed a tear,
I inhaled deeply,
letting your pain wash over me.
Through thick and thin,
we dug each other out,
only to push one another back in.
I guess the only way out of this maze,
is to cute my own path,
and start over again.

I guess people like me just aren't cut out for this.

"These damn meds aint workin, I'm just too damn sick"

Lost and alone,
walking over broken bone,
they take and the steal,
making your pain,
seem all to real.
Watching the demons claw you apart,
as they tear you inside out,
you tear from outside in,
giving them a leg up, letting them win.
If you stare long enough,
fall through the cracks,
and fail to get back up,
avoiding at all cost,
taking what was once lost.

What the hell is wrong with me?
I can't write. I can't rant.
I can't seem to do anything right.
unrealistic and dead inside.
I wish I could just die.
dive into denial and swim through all the blood and tears I've lost for you, float to the top, and watch as you drown in the river I cried you. Bask in the glow of the fire that used to reside in my heart, the hole where my heart used to be, infested with lies.
You asked me to sell my soul, I told you over my dead body. Well, there's my body, here's my soul.
I guess you won, cause now you have my heart and soul, and the fire that fueled me.
I give up.

What Are You Infinantly In Love With? (5/20/11 12:16pm)

So, I was thinking today after one of my finals (bleh) about the love I don't believe in. And this poem thingy just kinda popped into my head...sorry I haven't written so long by the way. I've been ridiculously busy...and everyone just sucks. That basically sums up the past...how ever long it's been. So, here it is.

The stars in the sky
and the birds that fly.
The hope that dies, when people cry,
and the love of love when all is left behind.
The dew on the grass when the sun will rise,
the spark still there in a blind mans eyes.
The scream in your voice,
the destruction of your kind.
The race to the finish line,
and the whisper of the lie,
"No really, I'm fine."

No effing idea. I needed to rhyme. Bleh.

FUCK THIS.
I just don't understand.

I fell down,
how much further can I go,
before I trip up again?
I wanna run away,
To Wonderland,
Lets ask Alice if we can make a plan,
Maybe take it all apart,
and find ourselves instead.
We took the long road,
forgot the obvious choice,
and almost forgot the sound of your voice.
Awful, and painfully well,
Were you a tattle tale?
I need an answer to make time tell again,
I sold my soul to pay my fathers bail.
My greatest weapon used to be this pen,
now in this time of destruction,
utter defiance and pain,
I wonder what ever happened to Barbie and Ken?
They were so picture perfect,
It made me want to melt my skin.
Take a step back,
fall up,
and try not to crack.


Sitting on your bed,
your crying again.
What do I do,
what can I say,
so that you'll believe me when I tell you,
It'll all be ok?
I don't want to lie,
cheat and steal,
this pain is all too real.
I spilled the bottle,
took all the pills,
why are you letting me dance with these thrills?
your supposed to protect,
my safe haven,
died long ago,
traded for some liquor and the promise of a better day.
Need a pick me up,
take a bow,
I'm leaving you now.
Look at the day,
take a break,
maybe you'll find some other way,
is this as good as it gets?
Do I need to send myself on the fritz,
taking sick leave,
never to return.
Theres a pack of cigarettes,
cancer sticks coated in sugar.
Show off,
maybe take a little,
bring it to the next level,
hide behind the devil,
watch the ghosts run and hide,
taking a ride,
Will you ever abide?


FUCK. I can't write worth shit. Sorry. I needed to rhyme.

(12/2/10 3:20 pm)

There comes a time to bend and break,
let yourself go to give and take,
but should you stand and hold your ground,
watch the world spin round,
then you might make it out alive,
telling the story,
how did you survive?

Maybe, Crazy...

Can we forget this town...
spin around and visit the clouds...
Lets run away to Wonderland,
ask Alice if we can make a plan..
Run, crazy, run
Run! Run until your lungs are dry!
Never have to say goodbye,
If we make it out alive...
Maybe, can you feel it?
Maybe, are you as done as I...
We don't have to listen,
to another word they say...
it'll be ok...

No. Idea.

Sometimes I want to sleep and never wake up.

The only thing I have left tying me to this place, is my room and my friends. What happens when they're gone?

What do you do when your whole life feels like it's been ripped from beneath your feet, because the people "in control" are more stubborn then cats?

I swear I can feel the hammer swing down on my head every single time.

I can feel it boil in my blood, and simmer in my veins.

I can feel it posses me from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair.

It seeps in and entangles itself within my very soul, whats left of it that is...

My heavy eyelids don't even begin to tell you how I really feel.