A Not-So Fresh start, 2011

So, here we are. 2011.
Wondering, hoping, wishing, that it'll be everything 2010 wasn't and more.
honestly?
2010 was probably one of the best and worst years of my life.
I learned so much this year, changed so much. Realized what it means to really live.
Fell "in Love" and got my heart broken.
Lost my supposed "friends forever"
Made news friends.
Learned, you don't have to be the best at everything, as long as your happy.
I mean, what Is happiness really?
What does it mean to you??
Last year, it was all about jumping, about not being afraid.
This year?
I didn't make a resolution.
This year it's just about being happy.
Honestly, truly happy.
Even if I gotta lie first to get there.
Last year, my resolution didn't go so well...whoops. Too bad.
What was your resolution?
To get a boyfriend and keep him?
To stop lieing?
To actually get on with your life?
Resolutions seem silly to me.
I mean, if you really want somethnig to happen, why wait for a new year?
Just because you seem to get a bit of a fresh start at things?
You don't.
Life doesn't work that way.
But it's ok, live and let learn, right?
The one thing I can honestly say I took away from 2010?
You have to be real, and grown up. Even when you don't want to be.
You can't snap your fingers and automatically get everything you want.
Honestly, what really changes between December 31st at 11:59 and January 1st and 12:00?
Nothing.
The calendar gets replaced, those in school start a new semester, people have to go back to work soon.
Everyone wishes for second chances, to turn back time and re-do something. Everyone desperately needs a new start for something in their life. That's the only reason "New Years" is such a big deal.
All I want this year, honestly truly?
I have no fucking idea.
I want to be happy, I want to be unrealistically 'perfect', I want to actually get shit right this year.
But I won't, not all of it.
I will be who I am, whoever that is, and I'll live my life, whatever that is.
Want is a silly thing, that can take you over faster then any disease.
We shouldn't want to celebrate the new year because we get to 'start over'
Because you don't.
Nothing really changes.
We should celebrate the New Year because we are alive. We made it through another year, scathed and bruised, but alive none-the-less. You Do Not get a fresh start. You get to continue on, and you get another shot, at another year. That hasn't happened yet.
This year is yours for the making.
So why not make it a good one?
Happy New Years, guys.